Counsellor's News
Raising Confident Kids
As children get older, gaining confidence can be just as important as any skills they learn. It’s by experiencing mastery and rebounding from failure that they develop healthy self-confidence.
Here are 12 ways from the Child Mind Institute that you can set your child up to feel capable and get the most mileage out of their skills and talents.
1. Model confidence yourself
Seeing you tackle new tasks with optimism and lots of preparation sets a good example for kids. That doesn’t mean you have to be perfect. Focus on the positive things you are doing to get ready.
2. Don’t get upset about mistakes
Help kids see that everyone makes mistakes and the important thing is to learn from them, not dwell on them. Confident people don’t let fear of failure get in their way—not because they don’t experience it, but because they know how to take setbacks in stride.
3. Encourage them to try new things
Instead of focusing all their energy on what they already excel at, it’s good for kids to diversify. Attaining new skills makes kids feel capable and confident that they can tackle whatever comes their way.
4. Allow kids to fail
It’s natural to want to protect your child from failure, but trial and error is how kids learn. Falling short on a goal helps us learn that failure is not fatal.
5. Praise perseverance
Learning not to give up at the first frustration or bail after one setback is an important life skill. Confidence and self-esteem are not about succeeding at everything all the time; they’re about persistence in the face of inevitable setbacks.
6. Help kids find their passion
Seeing their talents grow can give children a huge boost to their self-esteem.
7. Set goals
Help your child turn desires and dreams into actionable goals by encouraging them to make a list of things they’d like to accomplish. Then, practice breaking down longer-term goals into realistic “chunks.”
8. Celebrate effort
Praising kids for their accomplishments is great, but it’s also important to let them know you’re proud of their efforts regardless of the outcome. Results aren’t always immediate.
9. Expect them to pitch in
They might complain, but kids feel more connected and valued when they’re counted on to do age-appropriate jobs, from picking up toys to doing dishes to picking up younger siblings from a play date.
10. Embrace imperfection
Help kids see that whether it’s on TV, in a magazine, or on a friend’s social media feed, the idea that others are always happy, successful, and perfectly dressed is a fantasy, and a destructive one. Instead, remind them that being less than perfect is human and totally okay.
11. Set them up for success
Challenges are good but children also need opportunities where they can be sure to find success.
12. Show your love
Let your child know you love them no matter what, win or lose the big game, good grades or bad.
Damian Gerber